Why "Even This Way"?
Updated: Oct 15, 2020
The start of this ministry, how it got its name, and what to expect from us in the future!
Even This Way is a ministry that seeks to bring forgiveness to families, compassion to communities, and healing to the hurting. But what does that mean?
The greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion. Mother Teresa
Let's start at the very beginning.
This ministry and outreach was born out of a desire to help others like me who were considered for abortion and/or have aborted siblings. As a pro-life advocate and educator, I shared my story to thousands of people nationwide. Audience members would share their grief with me as they told me about their similar stories of origin. I saw the need for this ministry.
"Even This Way" has a three-fold significance. As I continuously thought and prayed about this ministry, I sang to myself Good Good Father by Housefires. The bridge says, "You are perfect in all of your ways." Abortion could have taken my life and took the life of a sibling of mine, and I asked God in desperation, "Even this way?" To which He responded, "Even this way." I saw the negative effect of abortion in my family, and I knew that the generational trend had to be overturned. I prayed that God would even this crooked way.
Forgiveness to Families
Abortion, as an act of violence, of course intentionally ends the life of an unborn child. Additionally, we must consider the act of violence upon the family. We know the harm abortion does to post-abortive parents, but do we consider the fact that abortion can take an emotional toll on a sibling survivor?
Dr. Philip Ney at the University of British Columbia studied what he calls Post-Abortive Survivor Syndrome (1993). In a study with a sample that included 293 adults, he researched the impact of maternal pregnancy loss on the participants. There were two significant factors that showed a difference between those whose mothers had a miscarriage versus those whose mothers had an abortion. While those who lost a sibling to miscarriage felt that life was worth living, those who lost a sibling to abortion did not. Additionally, sibling survivors felt angry.
Sibling survivors may having feelings of mistrust towards their post-abortive parents, asking themselves, "How could you (my parent) be loving to me yet have killed my sibling(s)?" Familial love is still possible! Even This Way wants to walk with sibling survivors' relationship with their parents to a path of forgiveness and peace.
Compassion to Communities
Compassion literally means, "to suffer with." Sometimes it is not enough to share your sorrow, but it is also necessary for someone to understand your sorrow. Even This Way brings together people with similar stories and backgrounds so sibling survivors have a community to walk with through their grief process.
This space is for those who have lost a sibling to abortion. Your story is welcome here!
Healing to the Hurting
Those of us whose families have been impacted by abortion know how holistically painful it can be. We want to offer you the opportunity to heal from this pain. Even This Way is a secular organization, but our team also includes people of various faith backgrounds. Healing is multi-faceted, and it doesn't look like a curriculum or a retreat. We know it is a day-by-day process, and we are here to help you on yours.
A Closing Note
I would like to close by saying this: Even This Way is not a political or religious organization. We are here to acknowledge the experience and help heal sibling survivors of abortion. They are our focus, and we will walk with them on their journey no matter what.
Founder of Even This Way